Sunday Bloody Sundays

Sunday Bloody Sundays!

I love and hate Sundays. I am a Christian parted down the middle like a 3rd grade girl hair.

Sundays should be for whatever. Yet I feel compelled to attend church because I am a Christian and it is the Sabbath Day. Yet, I don't go to church. And because I don't go to church I feel guilty about going anywhere else. So I stay home and contemplate, and that is the Sunday that I hate.

Contemplation Sunday, are boxing me in. I feel like I owe it to myself to do whatever I please, yet I don't. It is wrestle-mania for me.

I sometimes wonder what would Jesus do?

Would he hang (forgive the expression) with his posse, or would he go to a synagogue to teach?

I think he was torn (forgive the expression again). He did his best work on Sabbath days. What I mean is that he did his best most memorable miracles on Sabbath days, and that took lots of energy, which is labor. Labor is work. Work means work not rest. And aren't we not suppose to rest on the Sabbath? I am not passing judgement, I dare not throw that first stone. Its a point I am trying to make sense of. But I guess if you had the load of the world and a certain amount of time to prove love, then every minute counts! You can afford to tear whatever for the sake of love.

Which brings me back to my original state of mind. I think church days are important, because its a Christian community affair. It brings like minds together to rejoice in that. Which to me is an incredible feat in itself. When can you get people to volunteer to service regularly to practice on what someone else preaches? Its not like voting, or like being in a bowling league where you exuberate with triumph over a skill, with evidence to prove it. No, church is a place of with total reverence, one accordance, a type of domain where the attendees focus on where they feel spirituality lives. You can't find that watching feel good ministries on TV. Church is "live" not previously recorded.

So why don't I regularly go to church is beyond me. Why am I so torn and contemplate? I don't know! I think that I need to do what Jesus did, prove love beyond a show of a doubt and make every minute count. So forgive me Lord if I don't attend church. I think I like Jesus style of living, outside the confines of a man driven place that can be to contemplative and confusing. I think I will choose love and life and Jesus cause. It makes better sense.

Lena:) +

Blogging

Okay who says blogging is easy? Its not like posting a comment on Facebook. Thats a flash in comparison. I have to fish inside my mind and decide what I want to to capture, compile and then post it and hope that it makes sense to me. One thing is to think it and another is to verbalize it. Especially for me, since I am constantly reinventing myself on a daily bases. So here goes.

Every morning I wake up at the end of a dream or a nightmare. Some people say they don't remember their dreams and some go on to debate that you are less smarter because you dream in black and white, not in color. Who really gives a crap? Dreams are nightmares and nightmares are dreams driven to the dark-side of your mind. Why I say dreams are nightmares and nightmares are dreams? Listen to my theory...

I find if you keep a nightmare to your self and don't tell anyone about it, some how or another day, it becomes true. Then I feel sort of strange about it. Cuz, when you tell someone that you dreamt of that particular occurrence that equalled your dream they look at you in disbelief.

Now on the other hand, if you tell your children what you dreamt about - its more likely they would believe what you are saying is true and react like... You have some weird powers and then they refuse to hear about any dreams/nightmares hence forward because it may turn real. And that is something they can't ever admit to or deal with.

My son tells me that subconsciously I drive that dream/nightmare to reality and that I have Lenoo (short for Lena & voodoo) powers. I rebuke that, in the name of Jesus. He continues to say that the power of thought is one that cannot be measured in real time, since real time cannot be measured. Too quantum for me to make sense of what he's trying to make sense of. But I listen to the babble and tell him that maybe I was somehow leapt back in time purposely as a revelation that became a dream to make someone aware of a future happening so that person that is listening to me can take it as a fore warning. "To be fore warned is to be fore armed. Thats how you win wars" I tell him. He now calls me the Dream Whisperer.

Sick boy. Funny Boy. I don't know, I dreamt I won the Lotto and that hasn't happened. So maybe subconsciously my mind is selective with what it wants me to be a cantor about.

Really...

I think I sleep too much. Sleep is overrated and so are dreams/nightmares. I once had a dream when I was of kindergarden age that Bubbles where swallowing each other and it kept getting bigger and bigger! I was terrified. I had that same dream for years, haven't had it in a while. What do you think that dream meant? If there is another dream whisperer out there that can tell me what thats all about- uh wait... You Know what? - I just figured it out- Yay! I hate balloons thats the relationship to that dream. Wow Blogging does have a purpose! Who needs therapy? lol.

But if there are people who think like me or share my sentiment- let me know. Thanx

GBY

Lena;)