I love and hate Sundays. I am a Christian parted down the middle like a 3rd grade girl hair.
Sundays should be for whatever. Yet I feel compelled to attend church because I am a Christian and it is the Sabbath Day. Yet, I don't go to church. And because I don't go to church I feel guilty about going anywhere else. So I stay home and contemplate, and that is the Sunday that I hate.
Contemplation Sunday, are boxing me in. I feel like I owe it to myself to do whatever I please, yet I don't. It is wrestle-mania for me.
I sometimes wonder what would Jesus do?
Would he hang (forgive the expression) with his posse, or would he go to a synagogue to teach?
I think he was torn (forgive the expression again). He did his best work on Sabbath days. What I mean is that he did his best most memorable miracles on Sabbath days, and that took lots of energy, which is labor. Labor is work. Work means work not rest. And aren't we not suppose to rest on the Sabbath? I am not passing judgement, I dare not throw that first stone. Its a point I am trying to make sense of. But I guess if you had the load of the world and a certain amount of time to prove love, then every minute counts! You can afford to tear whatever for the sake of love.
Which brings me back to my original state of mind. I think church days are important, because its a Christian community affair. It brings like minds together to rejoice in that. Which to me is an incredible feat in itself. When can you get people to volunteer to service regularly to practice on what someone else preaches? Its not like voting, or like being in a bowling league where you exuberate with triumph over a skill, with evidence to prove it. No, church is a place of with total reverence, one accordance, a type of domain where the attendees focus on where they feel spirituality lives. You can't find that watching feel good ministries on TV. Church is "live" not previously recorded.
So why don't I regularly go to church is beyond me. Why am I so torn and contemplate? I don't know! I think that I need to do what Jesus did, prove love beyond a show of a doubt and make every minute count. So forgive me Lord if I don't attend church. I think I like Jesus style of living, outside the confines of a man driven place that can be to contemplative and confusing. I think I will choose love and life and Jesus cause. It makes better sense.
Lena:) +
No comments:
Post a Comment